Name that tune – for when you are stuck on the music in that new ad

This may not be news to many of you, but I have stumbled across a great little site which does exactly what it says on the tin: TV ad music.

Adverts are, occasionally, real works of art. The Guinness ads always stick in my mind as being genius. So often they are made all the more memorable by the music. The one that bugged me until recently was the new ad for Walkers Baked. It’s not a work of art by any means, but I do like the tune. To be honest, it struck me as a decent theme tune for my cat, a handsomely thuggish, black Norwegian Forest Cat (alongside the theme tune for the Crazy 88 in Kill Bill):

Caddy - surveying his dominion

Enter http://www.tvadmusic.co.uk/.

All these years of watching ads and wondering who wrote the music… Solved! And the answer was Air. Described as “French electronic knob twiddlers”.

Click the cat above and hit play for a taster…


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Apples aren’t always green: one more reason why I am glad I got a Nokia #n900 #iphone #greenpeace #green

It’s a peripheral consideration for many when making a choice as to the make of phone to buy – and it certainly wasn’t one of mine. However, I have since discovered the Greenpeace International guide to Greener Electronics and I will be paying more attention in future to the companies I buy from.

I am simply glad that Nokia beats the competition by a mile.

If you go to the Greener Electronics page, you will see the little graphic of a hand-held device. Click the number 13 to see the latest report, from September 2009. With a complex formula for scoring the major companies out of ten, Nokia is the only company to score more than 7.

You can read Greenpeace International’s report on Nokia, which puts them 1st, and see how they arrived at the score of 7.5, by clicking on the thumbnail below:

By contrast, Apple may have improved its standing from 11th to 9th, but, by clicking on the thumbnail below, you can see its score is still a paltry 4.9:

Power Geek Enthusiast vs. Flash Git competition aside, there is a real issue here about the ways in which companies that manufacture mass market devices for international distribution respond to real world concerns such as the environmental impact of their commercial activities. If those issues interest you, you can read the full Greenpeace International report by clicking on the thumbnail below:

So there we go.

Apples aren’t always green…

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Sell your house and seduce an Australian with simple, delicious, freshly-baked bread #recipe #cooking

It’s true!

You’ll make your house smell more homely if the fragrance of freshly baked bread is wafting through the rooms (assuming that your viewers don’t have coeliac disease). And a survey of 4000 Australians placed the smell of freshly baked bread at the top of the list.

The real reasons for baking your own bread though are:

1. It’s so tasty

2. You know what’s in it

3. It is totally easy

There is also enormous satisfaction to be had in creating something so fundamental to life and that has been baked with similar ingredients for centuries. With that in mind I’ve decided to share the version of the family bread recipe that has made it down the Partridge/Williams wing of the clan. The really great thing about bread is that once you have the basics you can experiment with all sorts of ingredients and create your own distinct variant. And believe me – bread come more basic than this!

You’ll need a few things: flour; water; salt; dried yeast; 1 mixing bowl; scales; measuring jug; 3 baking tins; small knob of butter; oven.

It’d help if you had a few other things but they are not essential: 3 tea towels; 1 wooden rolling board; oven gloves; 1 cooling wire rack.

Flours

Before I go on to the how, a little bit on flours. I use a variety of different ones, including strong brown bread flour, strong white bread flour, strong wholemeal bread flour and wholegrain rye flour. There’s nothing fancy or special about them and I usually get the 2kg bags (apart from the rye which seems to come in 1kg bags). I always use a mix, half and half, but you can mix them up as you like. My usual mix is half strong brown and half strong white. Half strong brown and half strong wholemeal is delicious. Being a diabetic in denial, but trying to face up to the fact of it, I did a half rye and half wholemeal mix today. More on that later. If you want a simple starter, go for half strong white and half strong brown.

The bread bit

Mixing your dough

Pour 2 pounds of strong brown flour into the mixing bowl.

Add 2 sachets of dried yeast.

Add 5 teaspoons of salt.

Add 2 pounds of strong white flour.

Add 2 pints of lukewarm water (I use lukewarm water to kick-start the yeast).

Easy – it is all 2s except the salt. I would keep a little flour and a little water on standby, too, just  in case you need to adjust the mix slightly. However, the 2s, if exactly measured, seem to just work and give a dough of great consistency.

Mix it all up. It’ll take about 10 minutes to knead your dough. To begin with it’ll feel dead icky and it’ll look like it’ll never come together. Just keep going, mixing it up and scrunching with your fingers. Eventually, it’ll turn into a beautiful dough which will be firm, springy and somehow just feel right. If it’s a little too sticky add a bit of flour and knead in. If it’s a little too dry, splash some water and knead in.

First rise

Next, cover your bowl with a tea towel and let the bread rise. I prefer a warm room and I like to give it a couple of hours. The dough should pretty much double in size and there’ll be an unmistakable yeasty smell.

Before you begin the next step, prepare your bread tins. Smear a third of the knob of butter around each of the bread tins with your fingers. This is so the loaves slip out easily after baking.

Second rise

Flour a wooden rolling board (or a sideboard), take the dough and knock it back down to size on the boad. I like to really smack it around at this point, rolling it, pummelling it and generally working out the frustrations of the week. When you have a nice, fleshy dough, roll it into a sausage and then slice into three equal pieces.  Note: this helps contain your nascent Dexter.

Take each piece of dough in turn and give it a further good going over. Roll the smaller pieces into three even sausages and plop them into the three baking tins.

Cover them with a tea towel and leave them to rise again. It’ll take around 45 minutes, depending on how warm the room is, and you want the dough to be 1.5cm to 2cm above the top of the tins. About half an hour into this second rise, put your oven on gas mark 7 and pre-heat your oven.

Baking

Once you think they are ready (remember – 1.5 to 2cm above the top of the tin) place your tins side-by-side in your oven.

Cook your loaves for 35 mins.

When the pinger goes, take one out, slip it out of the tin into your other hand and tap the base. It should sound hollow. If it does, you can take the others out. If not, slip it back into the tin, pop it back in the oven and give them another five minutes. (NB You’ll work this bit out, but it’s sensible to wear oven gloves.)

When you are finished, take them out of their tins, wrap each loaf in a tea towel and place it on the wire rack to cool.

Voilà! House-selling, Aussie-seducing goodness that you can impress your Gran with!

Half strong wholemeal and half wholegrain rye – no Australians in sight

Rye is different

Be warned that if you use rye, your rises will be very different. Rye rises more slowly, even in a fifty-fifty mix, and doesn’t rise as far. Today was my first go with rye (I’ve baked with wheat flours for twenty years) and it was a messy business. The dough is stickier and has a more granular consistency than a 100% wheat mix. I let it rise for sixteen hours and it barely doubled in size (it developed a semi-hard crust in that time that got crushed back into the dough on the pummelling for the second rise). I gave the dough around two and a half hours for the second rise and whacked the loaves in the oven at a smidgeon over 1cm above the tins. Cooking time was the same 35 mins.

And they are still delicious!

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Apples, escorts and the perils of sticky fingers #n900 #iphone

So I did it.

It felt like a betrayal.

Very mucky. And it cost a lot (when I am used to getting it “free”).

Absolutely fed up with O2‘s hopeless upgrade options, I decided to buy a new phone. Apparently I have been eligible for an upgrade since 2006. That simply isn’t so, as I have had two phones since then,  but neither appear to be registered on their system. No matter how many times I tell them, each call to their perky, perfectly-mannered team (“FFS, yes, you can call me Ben!”) is like a bizarrely personal production of Groundhog Day for phone geeks.

So, having read completely contrary accounts as to whether O2 intend to offer the phone I wanted, and thinking I might try speaking Esperanto to the customer services team next time to see if I can be any more comprehensible, I took the plunge and ordered online from Nokia. My N900 arrived promptly and, after a couple of days playing with it, I can safely say it is the most fascinating and powerful little gadget I’ve ever had.

To be clear: I am in love. Not the girly sort of romantic love that geekdom is infamously inept at. This is hardcore, soul-shaking gizmo love. Processing passion. Firmware rapture.

Of course, some people don’t get phones (I need to be careful here as the über geeks will remind me the N900 is not a mobile phone but an internet tablet with mobile telephony added). So I thought I would try a car analogy – with a view to winding up iPhone users.  I should warn that this enterprise comes with health warnings: I don’t drive.

The Workhorse

I think most ordinary folk are happy enough to own a phone that makes calls and that can send the occasional text message. They are after something simple and basic and functional. They are not interested in hacking it to pieces (we are talking coding, programming and general fiddling here rather than kindling axes) and are content for it to simply work.

That is: WORK.

This sort of phone is so common – because it is such a good ordinary workhorse – that it is practically invisible. To my mind this is the Ford Fiesta of phones: the Nokia N1100. If they were insects they would be Water Bears (that’s tardigrades to all you biologists)  – prolific, unnoticed and utterly survivable.  Thousands of aunties and grandparents the world over keep them neatly packed in their boxes  for “emergencies”. Others, who have long since upgraded, have their N1100s languishing in a drawer – but only in stasis, ready to be reanimated the moment that flash capacitive screen decides it has been subject to one sticky finger too many.

The Flash Git

For some, the priorities are different. Being cool is a very serious consideration, particularly if “cool” can be dressed up as “useful“.

I can’t help it but every time I think of the iPhone I get this image of 1985, getting the bus to the Romford ABC to see Rocky IV and pimped out Ford Escorts (believe me – it is as bad as it sounds). All the cool kids have one – boy do you know they have one. And all the rest of us loser kids should want one (I did my 80s casual clothes shopping at Liberal Party jumble sales on a Saturday morning so no iPhone for guessing which category I fall into).

I don’t know if it is the contrarian in me, but for that reason alone I’ve held out against the entreaties of the Esperanto speakers of O2 and the various friends and colleagues who have evangelised about their iPhones and resisted the temptation to join the iHerd. XR3i, spoilers, alloy wheels, Ghia, Cabriolet… The iPhone has it all and in spades and just as the 80s cool kids used to congregate in gangs to check out the latest in Escort bling, so now iPhone users entertain their mates with their iFart and iSteam apps.

And yes – it is cool.

And no – I can’t pull it off.

(I also admit to a modicum of nervousness at this particular analogy as there is  probably an equation that relates the number of iPhone-owning friends and relatives I have to my Escort-loving girlfriend in order to produce an accurate indication of the likely diminution of my social circle.)

The  Power Geek Enthusiast

So this is where the self-styled l33t haxx0r ends up.

It’s not simple or bling that counts here.

To qualify for the ultra special category of Power Geek Enthusiast, you need raw horsepower, complexity and a love of Saturday mornings drowning in invective, epithets and machine love as you tinker under the bonnet. For me, the N900 is the Ford Capri of mobile phones (and yes – for me it is still easiest to call it a mobile phone). Why have a 1.6L when you can pack a 3.0 V6? The N900 is the sort of gadget those of us who fantasize about being secret agents have dreamed of – a phone and pocket computer combined, which we can use to save the world. Let’s face it. You wouldn’t have caught Bodie and Doyle driving Escorts – they were Capri men through and through (if you don’t believe me, you can check out their carpool here). If The Professionals were reinvented for the 21st Century you can bet your ass they’d be carrying N900s – not iPhones!

Read this piece from one Capri lover. Feel the passion? It could never be an iPhone.

Actually, sod saving the world. The N900 is for all those of us who believe that one day we might just take over the world – and need a super-techno gadget to help us do so…

And just in case any of you think you still want to chance an iPhone, just take a look at this clip below… Go on… I tell you – all the uncool kids are laughing now!

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