I always find myself horrified and enthralled in equal measure when list of new words are approved for inclusion in the dictionary. Oxford Dictionaries, which is not the Oxford English Dictionary, has released the latest additions to the English language.

In twenty years I am sure we’ll be using many of them without even thinking. Now, though, most feel alien, intruders into a lexicon which is morphing and evolving faster and faster as technology drives wordplay and we require more and different ways to describe the things we do.

I decided to write a nonsense poem with some of the latest.

Love Vax In A Hexacopter

you are so very adorbs, the way you

humblebrag about the way we got hooked.

we were nailed on from the start, I reckon,

when you called me hench and I said ‘you’re cray!’

 

ICYMI we near screwed it up

when i said your selfies were just clickbait

and you got bare mad and called me neckbeard

and raised my mansplaining douchebaggery.

 

‘FML’ i said, ‘i’m not catfishing.’

you side-eyed me and called me a hot mess,

but we’re hyperconnected doncha know,

so my air punch made you smile despite you.

 

and now – SMH – we’re cotching through life:

love lived in silico, spoken into

hot mics, needing pharmacovigilance.

YOLO. WDYT? amazeballs, yeah?